One of those nights

Ugh! I am having one of those emotional nights. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? I don't understand I have been a good person. I have done so much for other people. I just don't get it. I hate my back. I hate that other people suffer from this too. I hate there is no real cure. Can't I just have a magic genie like in Aladdin? I want Robin Williams to do voice over for MY genie. One who can make it all just go away in comedic manner.
I feel bad. I feel selfish. I have a great husband who does so much. I don't want to be a whiny brat all the dang time because I'm in pain or can't do something. I hate that I can't do things I used to do. I don't want others to have problems like this, it sucks. No other way to describe it.
I'm scared. I don't want to regress. I am scared of having pain the way I have had it before. I am scared its hereditary and someone else in my family will have it. I do not wish back problems on my worst enemy! Not that I really have like a worst enemy, but you know what I mean.
Ugh! I am not being a positive Polly tonight, I'm being a negative Nancy....
Until next time...hopefully I will be in better spirits.